The Transgender Dictionary

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z MISCELLANEOUS

Reasons

(also: acknowledgments, excuses, grounds, guises, pretexts, rationales

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Transgender Dictionary originated as a read-only channel on a now-deleted discord server of my own creation. I kept coming across words with meanings that I wanted to keep track of, as well as useful YouTube videos that I didn't want to lose. This alphabetized list started getting pretty detailed as more and more members of the discord server suggested more and more terms. I tried getting more and more people to join the server to check out this list. These attempts were largely unsuccessful, and it was brought to my attention that having this information locked in a discord server made the information inaccessible to others.

After some contemplation, I made a new version of this "dictionary" that consisted of numerous Google Docs all linked to one another. I was told by someone on Discord that it was bad to force people to use Google Docs to access information. This got me thinking some more.

Using the website builder known as "carrd" I made a new version of The Transgender Dictionary. The problem with carrd is that there is a limit to the number of available assets for a website, even with premium, and I got pretty sick of paying for premium. After that, I remembered that I knew how to do basic coding in HTML, and voila, here we are.

General Information

This page contains miscellaneous information about The Transgender Dictionary and its creator (James).

Click to jump to [c] page [coming out] section [About Me, The Author of The Transgender Dictionary].

List of Reasons

This is a list of reasons why I decided to make this website. These list of reasons are not in any particular order, but are numbered to keep track of the total number of reasons. This list will be updated over time, much as will be the rest of this website. Edits can be seen on internet archive.

  1. To keep track of all these new acronyms that people keep coming up with.

  2. To compile my research.

  3. To feel important.

  4. To keep track of important and/or interesting links that I come across.

  5. To be able to provide specific links to people during conversations to explain something that I have had to explain to someone more than one time in similar, repetitive conversations.

  6. To be more efficient in the comments on r/FTM.

  7. To encourage cisgender people to read up and learn about transgender topics in a simple, easy-to-digest way that does not require those cisgender people to ask a million invasive questions to random transgender people who probably don't even have the answers to half of those questions, because obviously, not every transgender person has this much knowledge on this many different topics (I suppose at this point, you could consider me to be a statistical outlier).

  8. To bring awareness of more obscure transgender topics.

  9. To create as comprehensive and interesting of a resource that I would have wanted to stumble across when I was a scared child who didn't know what was wrong with me and wanted to desperately find out what the right words were to describe my experiences were.

  10. To force myself to research topics relating to transgender women that I would not have previously researched.

  11. To make a list of every dead trans person that I learn about, to make sure that I never forget their names.

  12. To bring awareness to transgender people.

  13. To promote other useful resources to those who need them, and encourage everyone to research things as much as possible before forming conclusions.

  14. To make as much information as possible be easily accessible, even if a page isn't entierly done yet, and I still need to do more research (this way, at least someone who doesn't know anything can know a little bit, and be aware that something even exists before the page is as in-depth as possible.

  15. I wanted to make a brightly colored website.

  16. So that I can feel like I've done soemthing useful.

  17. To preserve information that may be lost.

  18. To help out anyone trying to figure out where to start when it comes to learning more about the wonder that is the transgender community.

  19. I made this website because I am autistic and really like dictionaries.

  20. To unite the community to focus on being productive and helping one another.

  21. As an excuse to learn more about topics that I would not have otherwise had a personal reason to learn about.

  22. To make a table including the pronoun set it/its, because whenever I tell people that my pronouns are it/its, they get confused and think that this pronoun set is actually "it/it's" which is incorrect.

  23. To make a table including the pronoun set xe/xem, because it is easier than constantly having to explain how those pronouns are used.

  24. I also use he/him pronouns.

  25. I am also genderqueer.

  26. To be able to help out any scared or confused trans kids who feel like they are alone.

  27. To encourage anyone who is scared of self-discovery to become who they were always meant to be and live as their true selves.

  28. To provide a resource for those who are tempted to say "its not my job to educate you." You are correct that it is not your job to educate others, but that's unhelpful for clueless people with questions.

  29. To provided basic definitions for when they are needed during petty discourse and similar arguments.

  30. People are always making list of trans-related resources on social media and such. I figured that putting them all in one place would make things easier.

Anecdotes

Sometimes, I share my own personal experiences throughout this website. Here they are all linked.

Mirena IUD

In October of 2024 (around 2 months postpartum), I had the Mirena IUD placed while under general anesthesia. The Mirena was presented to me as the best possible birth control. The doctor who suggested it stated that she recommends this IUD for all of her transmasculine patients. I was given oxycodone to manage the pain. The oxycodone did not reduce the pain of the IUD. Not even slightly. The pain from the IUD started from the moment I woke up from the anesthesia, and did not stop until I had the IUD removed 2 weeks later. Allegedly, the majority of people who get an IUD forget that it is there. I have no idea how it is possible to "forget" that a small plastic rod is constantly poking and digging into your insides and shifting around with every step that you take, and any time you have anything pressed against your abdomen, but many women claim that they are unable to feel this. Personally, I trust the receptionist at the OBGYN who told me that most people have those things removed after a week. Genuinely, it is a miracle that I even lasted 2 weeks.

Click to jump to [v] page [vulva] section [mirena]

The Story About The Snake

When I was 17 years old, I attended a community college for one semester. At the time I attended this college (the location of which I will not be naming), I was living in off-campus student housing nearby. At this small one bedroom apartment, my only roommate was my normal morph ball python named Motorbike ("Mike" for short).

Awkward and autistic, I was trying to make friends. The strategy that I decided on at the time was to try and invite potential friends over to my apartment on Tuesdays to see me feed Mike (or maybe it was Thursdays. I can't remember. I still have the snake, but he eats less frequently now that he's bigger). It was not the best strategy to try and make friends, but I was awkward and autistic (still am) and I figured that finding someone else who was interested in snakes might be a good idea for new friendship.

I was also openly transgender. I would openly answer questions about being transgender. A the time, I was using testosterone patches, a method of GAHT that had to be replaced weekly. I replaced the patches on the same day that I fed Mike, as it was easier for me to remember to do these two weekly tasks on the same day.

Both before and after I had my first visitor, I'd been noticing an increase of deliberate avoidance. Everyone would step around me in between classes. I would have elevators to myself. Other people would run off if I was nearby. I would be ignored or barely tolerated. There was an increasing disgust towards me that I could not figure out the source of.

I did end up having visitors. Not many, and I won't go into overwhelming detail, but there were a few who did, in fact, come over to see me feed thawed rats to my serpentine companion. It confused me as to why I could hear people outside the window of my apartment, and why it seemed like there were people waiting outside and maybe trying to look in, but I did meet people that I briefly considered friends.

The judgmental stares and whispers on campus only increased. I started to face physical violence, sexual violence, and outrage. I couldn't figure out why, but it seemed like a lot of people were very upset with me. I started getting kicked out of spaces. Denied food in the cafeteria depending on who was working. I was being treated like dirt but couldn't fathom why. I was told that I deserved to be treated the way that I was being treated. I was told that I should've known what it was that I'd done.

The off-campus student housing that I was living in was mildly infested with cockroaches (I was told that it was more severe on the second floor. I lived on the ground floor where I only saw them on occasion). When the apartments started to be treated for these roaches, I was, of course, concerned for the well-being of my snake.

I covered the tank with a wet towel, and brought the snake with me onto campus in a cloth bag to keep him safe and warm. As I already mentioned, he is still alive and well. I'd like to also add that I no longer live somewhere that is infested. When I brought the snake to campus, I was encouraged to take him out of the bag and show him around. I was hesitant to do so, as I didn't want to stress him out, but once I did take Mike out of the bag, he remained calm and friendly.

The reaction to Mike was mixed. Some thought that he was cool. A few people screamed in startled fear upon seeing the small python. The primary reaction, however, was not what I had ever expected. Apparently, there had been a rumor that spread across the entire campus that I was a pervert who was trying to lure people to my apartment and rape them. Apparently, there was the assumption that "python" was somehow a metaphor for my genitalia. There were even rumors that I had raped the few women brave enough to come to my apartment.

When the rumor was finally explained to me, I cried right there on the spot. At the very least, stories of the real live ball python on campus gradually (quickly, in the case of those who laid eyes on him) corrected the previous assumptions. I don't know whether or not snakes were allowed on campus, but there was guilt in the eyes of students and instructors alike. I cannot even count how many times I heard the phrase "OH MY GOD YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A PET SNAKE?!?!?!?!?!" or variations thereupon. There were apologies from people I'd never even met. Random people even offered me money or to buy me food.

Apparently, the few women who had come over to my apartment had only done so with other people on standby outside. They were waiting to beat me up once I "made a move," and were ready to run in the moment they received some kind of confirmation that I was a sexual predator. Unfortunately, even after confirming that I really had a pet snake, they were unable correct the rumors in time to avoid others from going after me. The truth - that I literally had a pet snake - did not spread until after I finally brought him to campus.

I don't think that this would have ever occured had I not been an autistic transgender man. As of me writing and recalling this story, I am 21 years old. I did not return to campus after that single semester. I do not think that I would ever be able to return to any college campus, and do not have the patience for virtual learning.

Note - I did not go into detail about the violence that I suffered during this time. You do not need to know about it. That's none of your motherfucking business. To any of you assholes that may or may not be reading this, there is a link for financial donations below. If you want a prize for feeling sorry, there's an option to buy something off of etsy. Just click through to the store if you want more options.

Edit - I just remembered that during this period of time (the time the story took place), I had a mullet that I dyed pink. (The original color was not supposed to be pink on the box, but it came out pink on my hair for some reason.) Right after I dyed it, I went on campus (there was an advertisement for a 'game club' or something (I forgot what it was exactly, but it was advertised as a way to play random group games on campus like CAH (as in, the card game Cards Against Humanity - not Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia), or charades. Would usually involve someone buying everyone Chinese takeout. Anyways, the first time I went there, everyone was playing a roleplay game called "mafia" and at some point I was described as "the person with pink hair". That is how I found out that that brand of hair dye sucks. I do not remember the brand of hair dye.

Click to jump to the [predatorization] section of the [transandrophobia] page.

Mafia (The Game)

The game "mafia" does not require anything other than a group of people to play. You need one person to be "the storyteller" (choose whoever has the best imagination). You need at least one person to be the "good guy" or "fairy" or "demon slayer" (or something else, depending on how good of a storyteller you have). You need at least one "bad guy" or "demon" or simply "the evil dudes".

Everyone involved in the game should be sitting or standing in a circle (whatever is easier, which will depend on location) with the "storyteller" at the center (or on the outside if that is better).

This game has several phases, as directed by "the storyteller". The first phase is universally known as "The night, when all the villagers/townspeople are sleeping...". During this phase, everyone must either bow their heads, or cover their eyes in some capacity. During "the first night", "the storyteller" will go around and pick whatever player will be the "good guy" and whatever player will be the "bad guy". Note that while it is advised to increase the number of "bad guys" according to group size, increasing the number of "good guys" is not.

The identities of the "good guys" and the "bad guys" cannot be revealed. Only the "good guys" know who they are. Only "the bad guys" know who they are. Only "the storyteller" knows everyone's true identity.

During each night phase, the "bad guys" select one (or more, depending on how much time you have to play this game, vs how many people there are) person who they want to "kill" (aka, eliminate from the game) during the night. The "good guy" can select one person that they want to save.

Once the respective targets have been determined, "the storyteller" will direct all of the players to open their eyes. They will then tell a dramatic story involving all of the targets involves, traditionally how one had a pleasant night, while the other "wandered into the woods or something and tripped into a vat of lava". Note that the stories do not all have to make perfect sense, and do not all have to follow the same theme or narrative. If the "good guy" and "the bad guy" both pick the same target, the story should involve narrowly avoiding some king of mortal peril. If you are somehow boring about it, you are required to provide catering to the gathering (preferably cupcakes or chinese food). Otherwise, you will be forced to be more creative about your story via constructive criticism.

Whoever "died" over the course of "the night" has the option of either walking away from the circle of people, or being dragged off dramatically (but gently) by "the storyteller" at whatever point it would be most entertaining.

After the story about "the night" is told, everyone has to discuss/debate who they want to vote out. If the "good guy" is voted out, the identity of the "good guy" is revealed, and no one can be saved during the night for the remainder of the game session. If the "bad guy" is voted out, the game ends. If more than one "bad guy" is in the game, the game does not end until there are no "bad guys".

If the "bad guy" survives until the "final night" where there is only one other non-"bad guy" player, then the "bad guy" wins and the villagers lose.

Ancestry

Below is my Ancestry DNA results. Do not question me on matters regarding race. I will not discuss them. I will allow those who are more qualified to speak on such topics to do so. I will discuss gender and sexuality related topics (mostly gender, its more interesting to me), but I will not discuss racial issues.

https://www.bbb.org/us/ut/lehi/profile/genealogy/ancestrycom-1166-2003190

These links are not affiliated with The Transgender Dictionary, however, I do think that they are useful and that you should consider checking them out.