Gender Dysphoria

Introduction

Gender dysphoria is when someone feels distress regarding their gender. A highly subjective experience, an individual's gender dysphoria will influence what they do or don't decide to do regarding their transition. Many transgender people will seek out a gender therapist (either by choice or by requirement, depending on local laws regarding transgender care) to work through their feelings of gender dysphoria; to figure out the best path to take regarding their future transition.

For some, gender dysphoria can be difficult to recognize. When it isn't so obvious, seeking out gender euphoria can be an easier task to determine their gender identity. For most transgender people, however, gender dysphoria is instantly recognizable, particularly upon starting puberty.

Watching in horror as your body morphs into something that you never wanted. Being ignored as you try to ask questions about why all the wrong things are happening as all the adults around you act as though you should somehow be happy or excited about the changes that your own naturally produced hormones are forcing you through is truly traumatizing for transgender children not lucky enough to have access to puberty blockers.

Being forced into a gender and a presentation that is not present in your own mind. Being called and treated in a way that feels so alien that you shouldn't even be the one responding, becuase how could they possibly be talking to you. It can cause dissociation and disgust with existing. Lasting into adulthood and being forced into society in a role that doesn't belong to you is a horrifying experience. Some trans people, however, make it into adulthood without realizing. They convince themselves that its normal to hate who you are; to feel like everything you do is a nauseating performance. This is more common in areas where transgender people are less accepted, and there are less resources available to identify and explore your identity.

The best treatment for gender dysphoria is to be able to transition. Failing to be able to do so often results in suicide. Being seen as someone you are not, being forced to live in and maintain a body that you despise makes it difficult to live. When I tell you that gender affirming care is life saving treatment, I am telling you that I would not have stayed alive long enough to write this page or create this site withoug it.

Social & Societal Dysphoria

This dysphoria refers to the dysphoria related to how you are percieved socially. The titles associated with being "male" or "female" permeate the english language and social discussion.

Ma'am, miss, mrs, ms, she, her, woman, female, girl, sis, sister, gal, feminine, femininity, beautiful, etc.

Sir, mr, he, him, man, male, boy, guy, dude, bro, brother, masculine, masculinity, handsome, etc.

Unless you live under a rock, hidden from the world, it is nearly impossible to avoid pronouns and other gendered language in your day to day life (though this will of course vary depending on which language you are, in fact, speaking). Hearing these constant reminders from others that you are not seen the way that you wish to be seen can be devastating to the mental health of a transgender person. When the wrong terms are used deliberately, especially by malicious family members who try to insist that you are nothing more than what a doctor determined upon witnessing your genitalia at birth, it can be downright catastrophic.

Being forced to use a bathroom that doesn't align with your gender identity, having to get medical checkups on bodyparts you wish you never had, being treated in a manner befitting of the gender role you do not want to participate in are additial examples for how social dysphoria can affect someone. It can be humiliating to be treated like someone you are not. Like your very soul is being ignored for the favor and convenience of others. Sometimes it is the most mundane things (such as handwriting) that can cause a transgender person to experience gender dysphoria.

Most names are not generally considered gender neutral. While some transgender people are lucky enough to have been born with names that are considered gender neutral, or take no other issue with their given names; it is fairly common practice that transgender people will pick out new names. Names define people. They represent who we are. They are used to identify others. Hearing a name that doesn't belong to you is alienating. Its like you aren't the same person being spoken to. Like you're an imposter of what is supposed to be your own self.

There are times where cisgender people will misgender others as a joke. Calling a girl "boyish" is often synonymous with being called "gross." A boy being told that he "runs like a girl" is considered an insult. Being transgender and having everyone around you use the words that should not be used to describe you is like being perpetually bullied and ridiculed for simply being who you are. When you are transgender, every day feels like the world is ganging up on you and refusing to even see the target of its ridicule.

If you know someone who experiences social dysphoria, the best thing that you can do is treat them as the gender that they are. Use the name that they tell you to use. Use the pronouns that they tell you to refer to them as.

Body & Sexual Dysphoria

Body dysphoria is when one feels as though their body does not match up with how they feel it should be. This can manifest in numerous different ways but to summarize, the feeling is as though there is something wrong with being perceived because what is there is not really who you are.

Being able (or not being able) to get pregnant is something that is often used to split humanity into two rigid categories. Being on the wrong side of the wall often feels like there is something wrong with you. Like there is something that is deeply and fundementally wrong. Even outside of simply reproducing, having those organs at all - creating the wrong balance of hormones, interfering with sexual activity - can make your body feel wrong and broken. Even what is hidden under clothes can have a disasterous effect on the mind.

There is something that is commonly known as "the dysphoria hoodie" which most transgender people will admit to possessing at some point in their lives. This is a bulky, well, hoodie that is worn to cover and hide features. To try and appear at bare minimum to be genderless. To give others pause. To hide breasts (or a lack of them). To appear like a dark mass of cloth (regardless of the weather permitting such a garment) rather than the wrong gender.

Having your voice not sound the way that it should sound can be one of the biggest things that leads to someone getting misgendered, regardless of the rest of their presentation. People often gender others based on what they sound like. That audible indicator is a single that something is wrong. It can make you want to keep your mouth shut for fear of being spotted. For fear of being outed as something that is wrong. Having the wrong voice can make it impossible to even want to communicate because what is being said is being said with a voice that is not yours. A voice that is too high or too low can not only out someone, it can make someone feel like even speaking is wrong to even do.

Incorrect hair style. Makeup. Accessories. There are so many little things that make up a person's appearance that can all feel so very, very wrong when incorrect.

Additional Resources

Healthline - Gender Dysphoria
Mayo Clinic - Gender dysphoria
National Library of Medicine - Gender Dysphoria
NHS - Gender Dysphoria
Psychiatry - What is Gender Dysphoria?
tall men shoes
that's gender dysphoria fyi
The Trevor Project - Facts About Suicide Among LGBTQ+ Young People
Transgender Teen Survival Guide - Dysphoria
WPATH - Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People (link)
WPATH - Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People (pdf)
Wikipedia - Gender Dysphoria
YouTube Video - Drbeen Medical Lectures - Gender Dysphoria - Diagnosis and Management
YouTube Video - Phoenix Animations - Gender Dysphoria
YouTube Video - Phoenix Animations - Harsh Reality of Transitioning
YouTube Video - PinkNews - What are the symptoms of gender dysphoria? Transgender man explains